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I have helped lots of people with the first dance of their wedding. Ironically is that the most challenging part is often not the dance, buit choosing the right song. Once you’ve picked a song, learning how to dance to it is not that hard anymore.
So, let’s dive a bit into the wedding songs that you can use for your opening dance.
Let’s start with what I think is important when you go for an opening dance. This is my opinion, not a general rule, and it always depends on your skills, personalities and what you consider fun. But, here is a little list you might want to take into account:
Don’t only pay attention to lyrics, but also pay attention to what happens in the music. For example, if the song has the same level of energy with the instruments the whole time, it could be boring to dance to. I personally prefer songs that hava a build up in energy, then tone down a bit and then maybe change it up again. Sometimes songs have this instrumental part in the middle that also brings some diversity. This makes it easier to bring variation in your dancing as well.
Stand by me – Ben E. King
Only around 1.57 min does the song change a bit in tone. But then you are already 2 minutes on your way!
Example of a song I find a bit more diverse (dance wise):
Conversations in the dark – John Legend and LIndsey Stirling
It starts very calm and builds up. It also has this instrumental part in the middle
Since I have a dance school for slow dancing, I love a slow pace. However, I also know how hard it is to dance to a slow song. It requires you to stretch out the movement, to take your time. And that actually requires quite some control! So in my opinion you want to go for that sweet spot: not too fast, but not too slow.
We measure the speed of a song in BPM (Beats per Minute). You have these online websites where you just tap along with the music (on the beat) and it tells you the BPM.
I think, an ideal range would be between 75 bpm and 130 bpm, if you want to go for a romantic dance. This is just an indication. I had a lovely couple who I worked with on the song L-O-V-E by Nat King Cole, which is around 142 bpm, and it worked out fine!
Unless you are used to dancing together in front of many people when you just got married, you might want to make sure your song is not too long. Especially if you go for a choreography, since you have to remember your moves! And if you are improvising, you need sufficient moves to fill up the song with. Anyhow, many reasons to go for a song that is not too long. I would say, go for something between 2.30 and 3.30 min.
If your favourite song happens to be (a lot) longer, don’t worry. We can still make it work. For example, we could extend your entrance (rather than immediately start dancing in the middle of the dance floor). Also you could think about breaking apart after 3 minutes and start dancing with your parents in law.
I’ve been creating wedding dancers for about 8 years now, more frequently in the last two years as I really love doing it. And I always love how people find a song that fits their style and personality. It’s only recently that I started to save all the songs in a Spotify playlist, so it’s not complete. But it might give you an impression of songs that other people chose. And maybe it inspires you!
Sometimes it takes some time before you have found the right song. Accept that that is just part of the process. Try to make a shortlist of 3 songs. Then experiment with this. Just connect with your partner (in any way you think is right) and start moving on the beat. Try stepping on every beat (1 count step), and also to take 2 counts for one step (so a 2-count step). Try to tune in to each other and see what song feels best.
Often in the first lesson for a wedding dance, I do the same thing, and trying out some other simple moves with the couple, to see what feels good. I can also give advice on the feel of the song (so the diversity in it). So know that you don’t have to do this process by yourself. There is help, if wanted!
Originally Slowfeet Studio is a dance studio for Slow Bal, which is a partner dance to slow jazz music. In most cases, people don’t come to me with a jazz song, as you can see in the Spotify list above. And that is totally fine. I use moves and techniques and apply my musicality to create something that works on your song and for you as a couple. So it’s not Slow Bal, it’s not Ballroom…. it’s just… slow dancing :D.
If you want to know more about how I work, check the link below:
Want to book a first lesson? Send an email to info@slowfeetstudio.nl and we will pick a date!